Nickelback Is Eeevil

I don't get it. Why does everyone in the entire web-verse hate Nickelback and, by extension, any group that sounds similar to Nickelback? You simply cannot escape the vitriol that is aimed at this band, sometimes with such heated disdain that you feel the need to move a few feet back from your monitor.

And this sentiment isn't limited to individuals who are simply expressing their taste in music. I read it all the time on professional entertainment sites. The supposed-professionals of musical taste make no secret how they feel about Nickelback and its contemporaries.

It seems that the worst possible thing you can ever say about a group and/or singer is that they sound like Nickelback.

People who listen to Nickelback are unrefined, backwood rubes who wouldn't know good music if it magically grew beneath their noses like a handlebar mustache. Clearly these people are not only deaf and illiterate but stupid and ugly and prone to wear white after Labor Day.

Nickelback is single-handedly responsible for the sucky state of the economy, the Cubs having not won a World Series in over a hundred years, earthquakes in Haiti, and America's inexplicable continued fascination with John and Kate Gossling.

I simply don't get it.

I mean, I get not liking a particular group/singer because the sound they produce is nails-on-a-chalkboard in your opinion and you personally can't understand why they became such a big thing in the first place (Gnarls Barkley, Jason Mraz, Neil Young).

Or you find the lyrics of their songs to be only slightly less coy and ridiculous than those you might find in a 1st grade class's Book of Our Poems (Closing Time by Semisonic, anyone?)

Or they are so overplayed you'd rather listen to religious radio than turn on the local Top 40 station (Black Eyed Peas, Taylor Swift).

Or they annoy you by trying too hard to be A Unique Artist (Lady Gaga, Ke$ha).

Or that they actually scare you and cause nightmares (Marilyn Manson).

Or maybe it's just a style of music that you don't like (rap/hiphop, country, insert obscure musical genre here).

Or maybe you refuse to buy anything produced by a Disney animatron or YouTube superstar (Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, any cast member from High School Musical).

Or the artist has proven him/herself to be an incredible douche and you refuse to support him/her financially regardless if their music is otherwise decent (Kanye, John Mayer).

But in this case, it seems like the reason so many hate Nickelback is simply because, according to the web and Very Smart Industry Insiders, it's very uncool to like Nickelback.

Or Lifehouse. Or Hinder. Or Creed. Or Live.

Seems a lot more uncool to tell people what they should or shouldn't like. 

Of course, I'm not a professional arbiter of what is musically good or bad, so what do I know?